My Life is'nt better

2009-11-24T20:22:00.002+08:00

what have been happening for year 2009?.... alot hv been happening in my life. sumtime i feel i don deserve to live. problems everywhere.. from jan to dec.. i cant afford to hear it. am i goin to MIA n dissappeared. sumtime i felt i prefer the old me. but sumtime i prefer now. haiss..

how am i goin clear my name n even hurt my closes fren feelings. my choice, do sumthing about it or lost a closes fren that alwaes help me..

errr..

wat im goin to do???????????

errrr!!!! STOP!!! all the words!!1 i had enough!!!! dun let me show the devil i am!!

2009-09-07T10:10:00.002+08:00

on 5 sept 2009, my cat, comel given birth to 3 kittens...yessah gt baby cat already..its cute too. bt the saddest thing is 1 kitten died, shuld be no oxgyen. :(.
now my family thinking of a name for those 2 kitten. my mum decided to call them suci and cahaya..hmmm its liked the indonesia drama. haha
bt for me n my sis to call them comot n cemet, so it will will b easier to call all of them....comel,comot,cemet. haha

here are the photos of comel during birth...bt too bad we did nt see her during labor, as we jus reach hm from johor n we saw her wif her babies.

sedar la...

2009-09-03T12:58:00.002+08:00

kami adalah manusia yg tinggal di dunia utk sementara.

apa yg kamu hadapi di dunia, baik atau buruk. kamu harus bersabar.

slalu ingt pada allah.

slalu beribadah

wahai manusia yg lakukan kelakuan buruk di dunia, sedar la yg kau lakukan.

klau kamu hendak mintak maaf pada seseorg tu. mintak dari allah.

allah knows wat im feeling rite now.

it was a set up by her

2009-09-02T07:49:00.002+08:00

ytd was bad day for me. hw could she!!!!! she pretend to be saiful by online his msn n wan any info abt his life/secret through me. how could she!!!! she destroy the brotherhood!!!!

klau kau tknk mengalah!!!

baik. aku mengalah!!!

im guilty!!!!

cuma allah yg tahu kisah sebenar. n atiks, klau kau nk mintak maaf, kau mintak dari allah. allah yg maha pengampun.

u dun deserve to b human in this world.

kau manusia yg blum sedar kesilapan kau.

aku tkkn sumpah kau apa2. tapi balasan dari allah akn menurun utk mu.

happy teachers day

2009-08-31T21:27:00.002+08:00

happy teachers day to all teachers in bedok town sec. i take off today from work jus to go bedok town to meet my teachers. theres still sum teahcers bt sum already left liked ms phua. i met mdm fawziah,ms lim,ms tan,mr ghazali,mr chau...wah n i notice ms lim remeber my name. haha..

she told me" i will alwaes remember me, bcoz of my teeth..haha. wah, its was history abt my teeth. i still remember the incident back then. i was accidentally hit by a floorball stick while playing.

beside teachers, i meet erny n efendy b4 goin btss. when reaching i saw fir,khai,zulhilmi and few of my ex npcc cadets..leong yew,yeong keong,glenn...i notice they all grown up..they r much taller than me. haha.

wait i forgot, i saw shakeir too..haha...ns in army ar..haha..all the best.

n i jus knew erny n fir is a relieve teacher haha..oh my..they r teachers.. i even sit at erny chair in the staff room. jus to feel it..haha..

k till here.

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!!!!

syurga cinta

2009-08-26T17:41:00.003+08:00

thanks to apul for recommended me to watch this movie.. "SYURGA CINTA"..it was a meaningful and romantic movie.. it teach me how to find love n correct those ppl who finding love.. n knows the true meaning of love or in malay cinta.
onli allah knows who our true loves r.

CINTA DI PAKSA ADALAH JIN, CINTA YG IHKLAS ADALAH CINTA DARI ALLAH.

the lady who spoke in that movie said this, "CINTA DI HATI SAYA ADALAH UNTUK ORG YG BENAR2 IKHLAS MENGENALI SAYA DAN BUKAN UNTUK DI PERSENDAKAN".

cinta yg ikhlas adalah cinta sampai akhir hayat

well, i watch the movie more than 3 times,...hehe..ppl pls watch it..its a meaningful movie n its gd for those couples out there.

till here,

n thanks for reading my readers...

2009-06-08T20:36:00.002+08:00

life is still the same...thought would be the same while during NS, bt sum ppl jus make me cnt change. i was independent and take care of myself for 5 mths BMT. n im old enough to take care of myself furthermore im a police officer. i have been feeling bad mood since last week. i cant stand anymore!!! ArGH!!!! ..... hvt been outing for 1 mth....

after work then went home...

no life...

I HATE ALL THE NAGGING!!!

i am hoping things would be the different after NS...i dun wan u ppl to control my life at the wrong AGE!!!!!

lastly syafiqa, i hope u hv a safe flight goin umrah today. your frens will miss you.

2009-05-31T21:18:00.002+08:00

haha,,,taking picture inside FI office during area 5 atc....okla...my first nite as FI...quite bored but its was great nite..i went cycling wif saiful as isk went to sleep. it was a tiring day for him.

i seat bhind the crowd jus to see the campfire together wif saiful n isk..they are the trainer resillience.
last time as CI, i take post for the atc..now when being FI..do diff job scope...haha.

2009-05-09T15:46:00.002+08:00

POP Oh!!!....wah im so relieve after finish my basic police training...
4 mths of endure the training..finally its over. n i hv my posting..

GUESS?

NPCC Field Instructor

i will be back to NPCC again, i think its my faith to stay in npcc.

2009-02-14T16:59:00.005+08:00

ard 3 and the half weeks to POP!!....wow i cnt wait to get out n work as police officer. its my dream to be a police officer since i was a kid. now i hv fullfil my dream. bt im nt sure of sign on as a regular. i think i prefer management. goin MDIS taking diploma in hospitality. i like outdoors...

next mth after POP goin to take motor license...man..i cant wait. i wan to take since last yr bt coz of ns inteference.

MY BEST FRIENDS & FRENS WHO ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO HELP OUT

EZAH, FAR, SAM, SHA..

CI'S & HO, W E ARE THE FAMILY OF BEDOK TOWN NPCC UNIT

APUL N SHA, we are brothers

Friends that always been there, friends that always care n concern. NO matter wat..we will always together no matter in relationship or further on...MARRIED?..haha..okok...LOVE YOU ALL...

2009-02-14T13:24:00.002+08:00

graduation day was on wed 11 feb 09....it was a memory. i met all my close frens again. i was happy n excited to met them again. appearance all change. sum still the change.. i wear NS uniform..hha...i go up the stage..ppl called me botak...haha...ok la.. im proud of myself of goin upo the stage. n they show us the video when we still in ITE...it was a memory...i cnt believe its over.

2009-02-07T11:38:00.004+08:00

life is not the same as last time while now serving NS.. now i have a little time to go out with friends, family or my love one. sumtime in 1 day i met 3 or 4 person. wat to do.. i miss them alot. weekdays i went for training n only fri evening im out of camp and sun evening im in camp.
im jus waiting for my training to finish, waiting for POP..ard april. if i wan to persue my dreams to enter the course that i one...i hv to finish my NS. n i will endure it. n i wont give up my hopes.

zul, i hope u are physical prepare for NS. dun worry, your letter is coming..haha... if you get police.. i will b happy...coz i cn ride your bike too....haha..petrol..i will add..lol.

photos of me, my best friends,love n cousins before and during NS:

this is all i cn update...enjoy viewing my photos... family,love,best friends, friends, ITE/sec schoolmates and NPCC friends n collegues...i miss you all of you!!!...

till here..BYe

2009-01-04T17:24:00.003+08:00

1 more day to national service. tuesday i will b serving the nation. at home team academy. m teenager life will end tmr, thats on mon. and tuesday will the be the day i b a man, b independent, confident n brave.

i will miss everyone.

tmr i will meet syafiqa at bedok..to hv dinner and then meet epul n anas..we having badminton for the last b4 entering NS.

i miss my love,best friends,family,frens,NPCC,my cadets.

ppl..pls keep in touch.

btw saiful kasturi, dun worry..we will go shatec after our NS. i promise u.
i promise u that i will alwaes rememeber ur advice. hope to see u n others liked zul n anas on weekends...pls keep in touch

nurul syafiqa, for u..i will alwaes ctc u when i free while NS..hope to see u on weekend when free..i hope i cn jus time travel to the future..haha

bside that...im afraid to go ns, bt the other half..im excited coz, im growing up n we must challenge n competitor. n by finishing my NS is the goal to go shatec...

lastly, thanks you for everyone who hv support me. esp syafiqa n epul who support me goin shatec after NS. thanks

til here..

bye.

2009-01-02T17:43:00.002+08:00

4 more days to national service. im gona to miss everyone. esp. my family,love one n best friends.

thanks everyone who have support me to go this path. esp. fifi, epul, zul, anas, my sis, my brother in law n a few more ppl, u know who u r.

lastly..happy new year to everyone. when i think back..new year, student go bk school(ite,sec,pri n etc.) bt for me im serving for the nation. haha...the faster i go, the faster i finish it..

so til here..

miss you ppl, frens,best friends,my love one,family. and not to forget my npcc cadets. hope to cm bk to unit to see u ppl again

Bye

:)sharir. :)

2008-12-24T16:22:00.004+08:00

yesterday is the day when i release what i have felt. finally..im nt stress anymore.

i was feeling down when i heard a sad news from my best fren...

dun worry epul, i n syafiqa wont give up.

i will help and fight back for your relationship..

and i wont rest til everything is back to normal as last time,

and nurul syafiqa binte yasin, sha akn menunggu mu sampai sha abes NS..dan lepas tu kita akn bersama.

2008-12-14T16:13:00.002+08:00

people change for their own good. and its not easy to change n it takes time.
for me, months is so fast to change. sumtime during the time we wan to change. we still cn make mistakes...althought we makes mistakes..from there we learnt form it.
people cnt change other ppl mind to change. only themselve cn change if their mind say that they wan to change.

on friday, when meeting my frens...goin lepak...at yew tee..i was so quiet while they are talking, i dunnoe wats wrong wif me. at hm i am quiet,outside im quiet too. for 1 whole day...im quiet. mayb my brain gt too many to think till i get stress..sumore thinking abt my future. hw it gona be?...isit happiness? i use to get too over stress till my face turn red n scratching everywhere.

after get scolding of goin out from yew tee mrt station coz i dun wan to go hm early. IS my frens scolding me coz they wan me to change?....in my whole life..none of my frens scold me..or lecture me..bt onli this fren. that i hv met last yr. i feel thank you to him bt sumtime i need ppl to b nice to me..and you know who you are.

2008-12-07T10:51:00.002+08:00

ytd went to east coast to take fresh air wif epul and anas. we picnic only 3 ppl.haha
ns is ard 4 to 5 weeks. time flies very fast. n everyday i wan to go out having fun..i dun wan to regret my teenage life.

btw, b4 i go out..i ordered KFC by delivery for at hm...so i called...n the operator was name nurul, damn shocked..i thought nurul my ex...coz the voice the same.haha..in fact, all gals voice hears the same in the phone. haha.

and thank you everyone for wishing me happy bday!!

first to wish me: EPul N ANAs(my best friends 2007 onwards)
2nd: Nisha
3rd:netty
4th: Firdaus(my first best friend, now no more :( )
5th: my mum.

thats all...theres smore ppl wish me by friendster and MSN...thanks guys..n u too ZUL..u wish me by MSN.

heres are the ytd photos:

2008-12-04T13:43:00.004+08:00

yesterday was the last day of exam...and also last day of our ite. i miss my classmate, the food, the uncle and aunt that sells food..my teachers esp. ms jayna eng...haha..after the exam papers. our class take a photos..to make memory of our ite life. its was a happy end..of our ITE..bt more happy n excited for our graduation day next yr feb..while im in NS..must find a way to go..surely cn...haha.

NS is in a few weeks more...ard 4 weeks left to enjoy with my family, frens, best friends, love ones too..it has been 2 weeks..i enjoy with them, went to east coast, watch movies..winx club n wild child...i liked wild child the most..its abt kids haha.

lastly look at our photos of class PE0701P:

BYE To ITE, HIHI To NS!!...miss you PPl

2008-11-27T10:12:00.003+08:00

today the last day of school b4 exam. sad..haiss..but syiok, cn enjoy. haha.today must submit final yr project or else 0. ytd was a stress for me, do programming n traffic light model in 1 day.(teacher is dissappointed wif us). but forget it, lazy to talk abt it. wat i know my brain was no where, exploded...n i cnt think anymore as im too stresssss.

"dun wan to take electronics or engineering again".

i will set my goals for next year. Finish NS first then Go study again..taking private diploma...NT Local...

2008-11-25T13:34:00.002+08:00

NS letter jus came a few days ago. im going on 6 jan 2009. I GT POLICE!!!...haha yeah, sOrrY EpUl...I Knoe YoUr JeALouS. :)... but Sian. jus starting the first mth of 2009, an di hv to Go NS, i thought of enjoying my life..bt too bad. apparently, go NS early is better as early out. by the time i finish NS ard 20.

i will miss NPCC, esp. my own unit, i already told the CIS and OC too...well, its time to say gd bye. but i told them, i will be coming to unit camps, HRC and ATC...bt will look my condition too. i need sleep too after all the training during NS. haha.

finally exam is jus next week, same as my bday. then bye to ITE and welcome to NS, a new beginning chapter.

1 more weeks to my bday!!...18 yrs old!!...(shuld born jan, hais) haha.

2008-11-15T20:20:00.002+08:00

My ITE life will be ended soon in 3 weeks time. im so proud of myself of studying in ITE for 2 yrs...its enough for me of studying at there. as i wan to move on to advanced stage. before that, im goin NS next yr...so after NS i will proceed to poly or mayb pivate school. i will miss my classmate, my teachers..sum onli, lol,...alot hv been happening in ITE...i cn see how ITE students behave, personality..n hw matured they ar. and all the relationship or friendship we face thru...i hope we meet you guys again in future...i will miss u guys...above a photo of my classmate at spor discovery centre..too bad feazah nt in..as she nt feeling well. hais..

beside ITE life goin ended...a candid photo wif my best friend...EPUL. lol... epul i hope u know what u r doing as u already quit school. i try my best stopping u from quiting..bt u insist...since u insist, i will support u. as u r now working..thats the good thing..you gt money, u cn go school back..and please think twice before u decide. i hope you appreciate what i hv done....n i think i have done a gd job as ur best friend...no matter what u gt a lot of best friend..cn you think back, what i hv done for you?.

Hari raya 2008

2008-10-02T14:32:00.004+08:00

hari raya 2008 falls on the wrong day as student are taking Examss....sad for them bt i wish gd luck for them..hope they pass wif flying colors. well..to all my muslim frens, i wish selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin...

HERE are the photos on the first day,,,

2008-09-01T10:26:00.006+08:00

helo My Readers...its been a while i away..wat i cn say..life have been different from past..i meet new people, explore new things and place. thanks to my best fren, epul, for believing me that i can change to a better person, and be growing up.
im nt a person as last time but the quietness is still there...cnn said..thats my main character.

area 8 atc has jus pass. my first atc camp..i was abit nervous..b end up, its feels ok, im jus normal..thinking positive..n do wat im supposed to do as a group intructor.

below are the photos i have been taken this few days:

me n my godsister...

2008-08-12T16:45:00.002+08:00

its been a long time i did nt update my blog. sorry readers..my comp spoli, so i need to use at school computer lab.

i end my friendship wif nurul, our 5 and the half years of friendship. i cant move one if she still contacting me. furthermore, she love my cousin. so this is the best way. i have lost my best fren, fir and i lost my ex gal, nurul. cn say, this yr its my bad yr. they will b memory in me.

i and saiful has been goin out. ytd, our plan was messy. after doing traffic duty, we went cycyling, then we went home to take shorts. then go swimming pool at tamp. at night we meet zul and his 3 frens that i dunnoe. after that my phone rings..alamak..its private, surely my mum...

TODAY, im sick!!...i gt high fever...

finally, i wan to thanks syafiqa for smsing me back. thank you for being my gd fren.

2008-06-02T10:26:00.002+08:00

2008-05-24T09:40:00.002+08:00

Thursday: its been a full day in school, first lesson was customer service and the lesson is s***. the lecturer doesn't know hw to conduct a lesson, she use 1 hour to take attendance, discipline the students, HECK CARE about them, they dun interested.

2ND lesson was C&IE theory lesson, oh my...i hate theory, always give me fall asleep, bt end up...we do tutorial,lucky..

lastly, technical maths test...damn, totally difficult, i dun even understand the question. my brain is nt fresh for maths in 2ND year unless last yr i take this module. after that i go check my last week test, WOW i get 80/100 for last week maths test. that's was great.

after school, i met epul near my house area. we just having chit chat, talk craps. in the end, we caught up in the rain. ha ha

Friday:i did nt come to school, as i was nt feeling good. so i sms Samuel, that i cnt cm to school, bt i will go for dining etiquette course at 2.30pm. the course was totally great and it teach me a lot of things...Japanese,Chinese and western cultures, how they eat their food with utensils, lastly, after school, i meet epul at school forum, we head back to TM to watch movie, bt we cancel it as we dun wan to forget zul..so we postponed next week.

2008-05-18T10:02:00.003+08:00

its been a long week, i, saiful & zul meet each other at east area, sorry my buddies, u guys have been hang out at east but i did nt go ur west area. jus wondering i hv a fren from east that cn bring along to west then i hv sumone to go hm from west to east.

ytd 3 of us went to pasir ris park. cnt imagine, the park is so full of ppl having camp. wat to do, its holiday on monday. well we sat near the beach area. when i was sitting, i was thinking about my friendship wif fir..its been a long time, i wish i cn forget about it but the gd memories n fun we had, its all flash back. although i hv a new best buddy(saiful aka epul), fir name will be remembered.

kla, till here..

goin to bath soon haha..

Bye.

Sha...

2008-05-13T21:06:00.011+08:00

its been afew weeks i havent been update my blog. i have been busy wif my friends, school projects n bazaar and test.

last friday, after school i wait for saiful, a close fren of mine till 5pm, coz he have cca, singing club. he is good in singing, he will perform at sch theatre this month. then we went TM before we go home, we chit chat. said out the problem that i have. i was so stress and i cn b crazy if i did nt tell my problems. thanks apul for listen to my problems. you r great fren

saturday, i stay at home since my grandmother come to my house. since she at my house, i read al quran while she listen when i read.

sunday, i went to religious class after eat my lunch at restaurant RESTU. haiz, too many assignment to do.

monday, preparation for bazaar, i and my teamates goin to sell sweets,snacks and cup corn. we have to plan by today since tue is the actual, cn said is all last min.after school, i told apul that i went home first coz i bring alot of things to school, then i ask him when he end class, sms me so i cn wait for him at tampines inter.can said, i meet him everyday. dunnoe why...mayb i jus wan need sumone to talk wif and his the onli one i know that cn b comunicate.

tuesday, the actual day of bazaar, i woke up at 5.40am and i reach school at 7am sharp. wah very tired, i cnt believe selling thing cn b hard. bt i feel angry, when i said they need to purchase it, they dun wan to buy, even FREE....haiyo...bt nw the bazaar is end, nw need to concentrate for my test and exam is 3 weeks. after that i wait for apul till 5pm.we decide to go my house first then we lepak at one of the hut. after that we go gufran mosque to pray...thanks apul.

us outside singapore flyer

Apul & Sha

and thanks apul, Zul for listen to my problems

WOnt Give UP

2008-04-16T17:26:00.007+08:00

i patient for 3 months for me and fir to solve our problems.. i wont give up on my friendship, coz of our misunderstanding. its hard to forget a gd fren liked him. no matter what he have said to offended me last week speech day, i jus take it.

fir, i know you will feel anger n boil if you talk to me. jus let go everything to ME, the ANGER, THE HATENESS that you dun like what i did, as long our friendship & brotherhood stays. no matter what u talk that may offended me..its no use coz i wont give up till we solve our problem. there is another way that we cn communicate.

i decided to trim n dye my hair..apparently, i dye by myself. STRESS

my saddiest day

2008-03-31T10:19:00.005+08:00

The twin brothers broke up on 30 march 2008. i cannot accept it, i was shocked when fir sms me. i cant live without a gd fren liked him, onli yati,erny bt without fir, is not complete. fir ask me to forget the past, and he sms me that he donnoe me.
i cnt take the pressure anymore. we build our friendship since secondary school, the first time we met when we enter NPCC. its all wasted that now we hv to break our friendship.

I WONT FORGET THE PAST
I WONT FORGET ABOUT YOU
I WONT BREAK UP FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU
I WONT !!!!!!

DO YOU READ IT FIR, I WONT!!!

it jus hard to forget a gd fren liked him, why this have to happen. im not reaady to lose a fren. the friendship for 6 yrs was fine bt why this yr? is there a reason?

I WONT END THE FRIENDSHIP !!!

2008-03-28T14:26:00.002+08:00

its almost april...me & fir hvt been talking since the problem occur.
its feels that this kind of matter cant be solve, but what erny said "be strong.both of us are adults, we can solve our matter aad this kind of matter cn be solve". im so relive when erny said that. i jus wish i can talk to him in the phone.

tmr im goin back to work, im broke and bored siting at home. so i realised instead thinking abt this, i better go work.

day after day im bored, use to be fir called me and chit chat, now..feels that im now alone. a few weeks ago, i get a msg for khairul ihksan, he sms me " hidop independent ar boi". it feels it so mean. during secondary school time, im the one who help him, he get bullied by fatehah, im the one who help...now, he so mean.

i treat fir as my best fren and also a close brother. i dun wan to disturb him while his busy wif sumone. or irritate him. i jus need a fren to talk wif thats knows my behaviour. and he knows im the person who easily to get loose and easily to talk ppl secrets when sumone psyho me. or threathened.

im typing this because i dun have sumone to listen what i have to say. i wish there is. i hope this problem will end. in this world, how gd or bad they are, people make mistake accidentally.

settle my own problems

2008-03-14T17:47:00.002+08:00

im not goin to write abt fir....what i can said, fir have given me courage and his the one who give me strenght to overcome all obstacles ever seen we became best fren or so call close brother. i remember all his advice ever seen i met him. well, tmr goin pulau ubin, the sec4n5 cadets having ATF, im goin to lead them to campsite...haiz...fir is goin, what cn i say..jus b strong n try to talk to him.

this are the few words i wrote down when i was thinking,

smile and laugh make me happy,
when I smile, the whole world will smile at me,
do something everyday that make me happy and laugh aloud
throw away all the hateness and saddness away.
I have to be brave and strong when we face any obstacles.
I have to settle my own problems.
i have to be strong to face it.
lastly i need to have courage to talk with fir pesonally.

ytd when i was chatting wif diana, a gal i met last year dec. she told me she overcome she like me, n if she will b wif me, she chose the the type of guy for her..im quite surprised..but we have to go slow way..we havent met..bt i hope you r the rite gal for me too.

hmm, so till here den..

sharir..
(little twin bro)

forgive me

2008-02-01T13:17:00.000+08:00

not a good day

2008-01-15T17:42:00.000+08:00

it has been a bad day for me...everyday i feel disappointed and stress. its already 2008, i shuld make a good year as i keep thinking about the past.

last sat, 12 jan...i went to work after 2 weeks of dissappeared. meet fir in the van.
after reaching at work place..it looks quiet. after work, 1,fir and 2 of our airport frens take 34 to go tampines. sumore the whole day working, i was so quiet..dunnoe wat happen to me, sumthing wasnt right. izit fir nvr talk to me? or i was feel lonely?..but fir gt ask sum few question, but i jus said "ya" or shake my head.

sun, 13 jan...as usual went to work..then i noticed my flight end at 1.10pm bt fir end earlier than me, asking him wheather he cn wait for me? bt he need to go meet faz. ard 12pm..i noticed his bag n one of airport fren wasnt at the locker. i was abit angry wif fir..by leaving me alone at there..as i sit at office alone...noone to talk to...i dunnoe wats wrong wif me..keep feeling disappointed(KECEWA), Stress, Angry. after work..i contact sum of my frens, wheather they wan to go out..as they reply they r busy. so i jus go hm..wif feeling saddness n wasnt myself too.
when reaching home, shikin called me, wanted to meet me at TM for lucnh..so i said Ok...so atleast i gt sumone to go out wif and talk.

aku berserah

2008-01-08T19:13:00.000+08:00

Gerhana meliputi segala
Tiada lagi sinaran cahaya
Keinginan tanpa kepastian
Tak mampu rasanya kut eruskan
Ku meneruskan

Biarlah
Ku relakan segala
Walau hidupku
Sebuah tanda tanya
Mengapa
Biarpun
Tak mampu ku bertahan
Takkan pernah
Ku akui kalah

Masih terdampar ku disini
Tiada jalan mungkin ku lalui
Haruskah hidupku dipesendah
Mengharungi dugaan melanda
Ku berserah

Biarlah
Ku relakan segala
Walau hidupku
Sebuah tanda tanya
Mengapa
Biarpun
Tak mampu ku bertahan
Takkan pernah
Ku akui kalah

Tuhanku
Ku relakan segala
Takkan pernah
Ku akui kalah
Percaya ku yakin padanya
Dia yang menentukan semua
Ku berserah

This Is my Life

2007-12-27T16:46:00.000+08:00

Four more days to year 2008!...i cant believe year 2007 is goin to end soon...alot of things have been happening form jan to dec....problems that i have..hv been settle..nw wat im goin to do is concentrate in my studies next yr...i hv no confident goin poly bt i will try my best to enter it. my goal is to get GPA 3.0 and above....next week 31 dec 2007, its my ITE result for 1st year student..oh my..im so scare...i hope i get the GPA i want...

hmmm....already 2 weeks working at changi airport...and i gt muscle cramp. I n fir decided to apply work at sentosa..hopefully we get it. haiz, waiting for call from sentosa.

the above photo...that is my brother,firdaus..Jus nw after work..i wan to take his photo, so he cover his face. today work is not tiring..jus sleepy...ZZZzz...after that go home wif fir...and this sunday is PAY DAy..haha...tmr goin out wif fir, watching Movie...at suntec..goin to watch REDLINE...haha..

im confused

2007-12-16T17:27:00.000+08:00

its was great to find a job with fir...coz atleast i gt a fren when i need help. working at changi airport wif him...working at changi airport, its so tired n used my energy...but wat i cn said..its a job, so jus bear wif it n endure...thats wat i alwaes think when i feel tired or exhausted. ENDURANCE.
hmmmmm..fir this morning u reply my msg to stop calling u abg. i wanted to know, to you, am i your best fren liked a brother or ur adek. this morning i sms you that to you, wat are your friendship to me? gd fren?close fren?best fren? Best fren kan?
and you reply yup. means you r my best fren. im so confused, last yr, b4 entering my CI course, u told me, im your adek...now best fren. Fir, actually u r my best fren and i treat u liked a brother.
how abt you?

fir, i alwaes treat you,erny n yati different wat i treat my other frens. i treat you,erny and yati liked brotherhood n sisterhood and for my frens i onli treat them as close frens.

akak,abg & adek at changi beach

2007-11-26T08:52:00.000+08:00

yesterday yati,erny,fir & myself went to changi beach together wif yati family. yati family brought us there..its was a great day...and i really relive my stress at there, yati father teach us hw to find clamp. so all of us can eat after it been cook.

its liked one big happy family and its been a long time the 4 of us did not hang out together and ytd its was great day together...we took picture together & everywhere..haha.

us together again.

Abang fir seaching for clamps. haha

adek sha & abang fir

My Brother

Sha,Fir,Erny,yati

haha, us together

the day i feel glad

2007-11-23T13:15:00.000+08:00

ytd i feel happy, when i meet fir.
cool haha...
for 3 mths we hvt meet n ytd we met at tampines mall. i thought i wan to meet him and talk, chit chat wif him. but he decided to watch movie...
we watch kingdom...
it was a last minute plan...but the bad news im not enough money to the tickets as he treat me the tickets, and i treat him nachos and drinks.
after we bought the tickets, i told him the bad n gd news related to npcc..
meeting him, as we talk..we laugh. i hvt been laugh for a long time. what can i said, his my only best friend and liked a brother to me.

the movie end ard 7pm..after that we sat outside tampines mall, jus a few chit chat there....and then he need to see faz. hmmm, well..i need to go hm after that...i thought i can talk to him longer coz, i gt a lot of things to talk to him...its 3mths nvr talk to him...so i gt alot to talk....i think till tmr still nvr stop..haha

the one more thing i forgot, i forgot to ask him to take picture...aiya.
nvm next time...=)

hmmm, i make a photo album at sharirtwinbrothers.multiply.com, pls add me if u gt multiply account.

untill here,..

sharir.

Happy birthday Firdaus

2007-11-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

YEah..today is my twin bro 17th birthday.
Happy Birthday!Happy Birthday! My Bro!..

Today, at 7am i sms him to wish him happy birthday.
i was shocked when he reply back, actually when his busy, he wont reply.
thanks for reply bk my bro.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIRDAUS

so till here

Bye.

exams and competiton

2007-11-18T18:34:00.000+08:00

sorry about not updating my blog. what i alwaes do is that changing the layouts, now using blogger instead freewebs...lol.

yahoooo!!!....final examination is in 2weeks time...its really fast to end my 1 yr in Ite..while exams is coming, i hvt studying a thing. i onli finish my 2 of my projects, CMS & Web. cant believe i finish my web in 1 and the half week, and deadline is tomorrow.

hmmm, i cant wait for year 2008, esp. NPCC, what it will b liked?...the new sec1...i hope npcc get those ppl who interested instead joining then quit or MIA. then i will have a hard time calling and find them. Next year Campcraft Competiton, i n hayati os incharge of it and our officer ms wee. hope wif the help of ms wee, we can make our campcraft better and teach those cadets wif enough skills for competiton.

My Best Friend

2007-10-29T11:28:00.000+08:00

its going to be 2008 in 2 months, our friendship still remains. i still remember the sec1 days, during npcc, i was quiet quy and did nt spoke to anyone else, the first person who talked to me was khairul, his a great guy, joker, funny and likes to make ppl laugh. after i met khai, i starting to talk to other students. liked boon yong, wilson, shakeir, fatehah, azam,firdaus zainuddin, firdaus (Na), cuiping, Douglas, marcus and benedict. Everyweek, i came to NPCC, i become more outspoken and make frens wif others. but theres one guy, i hvt been spoken to him, the name was firdaus. and both of us spoke to each other during sec1 NPCC camp, after.that i just treat him as a fren.

after promoted to sec2, i realised sum of the malays in my class liked fatehah, firdaus zainuddin, Azam, Shakeir are no more coming to npcc. so i decided to quit npcc too, before that i talk to my NCO that i wan to quit....but they told me, "why i wan to quit".....so i told them wif a foolish reason...haiz.....they told me, that...i need to make frens wif other cadets, instead i kept following my frens who wan to quit. so i decided to stay i npcc...and i & the rest of my cadetmates promoted to copral, i was so happy abt it as i starting to talk to everyone.

2 yrs had passed, and we wearing long pants...haha, liked big bro n sis...haha..the first day of npcc, boon yong asked me to join NPCC Day parade,so i dunnoe wats npcc day parade? boon yong keep asking me, jus join..its a gd event. haha, OK then i join the event.

(the story is long, so i cut it short)

after the actual of npcc day parade, i hv really found a fren, i wanted him to be my best fren. and my only best fren was firdaus, his caring, friendly, joker and sumtime he cn b nasty. but i chose him. from that day, i keep talking to him, as we laugh, talk and went to sch together wif hayati and erny...we called ourself fantastic4...and me n fir, our nickname was TWIN BROTHERS. as the HQ CIs said that our face liked twins.

so, this is hw i found my best fren. sorry, to my readers, i cnt type after we are in sec4...its very long liked newspaper. onli that, during our sec4 days, we always on the phone for more than 2 hours, we dunno,what are talking about.

fir, i hope our friendship still remains, i hope u dun deserted me, as i cant find any frens liked u, as you are my only best fren i have. insyallah, you will contact me one day, as im waiting for u to contact me.

FRIENDS FOREVER.

Hari raya 2007

2007-10-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

its already a 2nd week of hari raya, and sum of the families and frens are still visiting their relatives n frens house. this year i dun feel liked hari raya, mayb coz of sch reopen, and exams left wif 5 weeks.

this are the photos of hari raya 2007....sum pictures show me im no mood, coz first day of raya, i gt flu...haiz, no mood to eat, drink or walk..coz og sickness.

thats me, sitting at my royal chair, haha

My family...

my cousin n uncle, most of my uncle are not inside.

this are my consin, for ladies & gals...hehe

thats me on 2nd day of raya.

2007-10-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

today i went to school, liked normal days. so quiet walking to school, listen to music while im walking. when reach my class, i noticed faridah, faezah and falah hvt reach the class yet. so im thinking, if they never come, during lunch time, who im goin to go with?...then i sms faezah, she nvr reply. after that i called falah, he ans the phone, he said " i at cafe 3", lucky..he came.or else i will be alone.

at 12pm, thats our lunch time, i got a msg from faezah, she sms me that she just woke up...so she overslept...LOL.

today, my fellow friends who take O lvl at bts...i wish u ppl all the best..!..hehe...now, i cnt contact them...coz they having exams....if i sms them, surely, they cant concentrate, so i jus b patient till they end their exams. you know who you are, if you are my friends who taking O lvl ..haha

Friends

2007-10-11T12:04:00.000+08:00

i use to be a person, who dont mixed with frens. when im sec3, i suddenly mixed wif my frens, starting wif my NPCC frens...they are my true frens, liked a brother to me. i alwaes feel happy when seeing them. when i have problem, i talk to them.

Now, i feel lonely without them, theres a fren that i treat him as my brother, you know who you are. his the onli one i trust the most, we havent meet for 2 months coz u have exams...yes i understand...i was waiting for you to end your n lvl exams, so i can plan to go out with you...but i noticed that you are not free anymore coz u r nw working. isit so hard to go out or meet u forawhile.? i thought after exams, will be easy to plan to go out with you. but its still hard.

theres was a time i get enter to hospital, you were nt there, i sms you..and you did nt reply....when im at hm, i was thinking about all my frens...where r all of you? i never tell you guys abt my feeling, i dun wan u guys think im so irritating. i was so lonely...i sms you ppl...and there were no reply. I jus need a fren to be there.

sumone told me, frens is nt more then that. coz one day, they will backstabb u, they will jus pretend to be our frens...but i dun believe that...

Because, I CARE my frens, I TRUST my frens

Kayaking

2007-10-03T18:00:00.000+08:00

5 days of kayaking course, kayaking is so fun and enjoy but onli the instructor is so strict. below is my picture taken with all the other CIs. look at us, our skin is so dark. get sunburn..haha...

this one, we pretend, we holding the paddle..haa,...outside toliet, all of us was so angry with the coach coz of failing our 2 star....so we take this picture to show..go home practice...practice wat? practice paddling..haha....and we also repeat wat the coach said...."tell your HQ not to go 2 star, after 1 star, practice first b4 considering 2 star"...haha

start from the left...is kang wei, mas, caroline, then me, erny and lian yu..

i miss them

2007-08-02T13:22:00.000+08:00

I miss My best frens...

I miss My brothers...

I wish i was In secondary school life...when my brothers are there with me.

everyweek, i cm to school..to meet u guys. i felt is not enough.

I want it to be last time, when we alwaes find each other.

Sumtime, i feel liked calling u guys..but feel that, ur busy wif school work n personal lifes.

I wish, we cn spend more time, when we are free.

this are the words i can say rite nw...best frens are important in your lifes. when you hv a problems...you will alwaes find your best frens and brothers that is trustworthy, kind, care and concern towards you, No matter wat you already have sumone in ur lifes.

Stress

2007-07-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

Oh man...im so stress..wif assignment from religious school...exams is ard sept...and i still hvt do my assignment....haiz..what shuld i do?....the teacher give me a question thats ard 8 words..and told the whole class to write an essay..No way!!....essay is nt my fav...the teachers did nt tell any details regarding abt that topic....and the deadlines is sept...

sumore the class is mixed wif all theuncle and aunty...sum r adults ard 20s...and there r onli 4 teenagers ard 17....oh man..and the class is so boring....the teacher keep talking and talking...sumtime the uncle and aunty laugh, i jus laugh..i duNNoe why they laugh...thinking wat is the topic...

nw...i need to read the whole book to write the essay or research at computer...i hate assignment!!!!....

Holding on

2007-07-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

My world is closing in Im so alone
The door is locked and nobodys home
Desire is the key that I must own
Emotions get me losing control
I'm losing control

But I know
Its the way that I must live
Even though
Its so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

Im wishing I was somebody else
This world left me all by myself
Now why do they keep playing with my mind
Trying to break me down trying to make me blind
But I see

Cuz I know
It's the way that I must live
Even though
Its so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

God I know
Theres a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

Never let my fears conquer me
Cuz I know in my heart what I can be
Holding on

My boring lifes

2007-07-21T18:24:00.000+08:00

a few weeks ago....i felt so bored...i duNnoe why wrong wif me....sum of my frens r all busy wif their GF!!!...ya ofcourse i will do that..if i have a GF...but i still spend more time wif my best frens...or brothers...wat i cn said..sum of them told me..go find GF lor..easy for them to say...jus looking for gal that is gd, nt smoker...and a gal that cn communicate nicely....althought i already admire sumone...a gal that suits me...but end up..she rejected me.....wat i cn say..shuld i wait or move on...

sumtime i tried to think that, in my heart..i still Love my exGF, althought we already broke up and we still contact each other, and everyday we contact...the more i get close to her and known more abt her.....is she the rite person for me or my admire..?.....trying to think carefully before goin thru this...

thinking of relaxing and release my thoughts....i went watch harry potter and the order of phoenix..wif my neighbour...lucky on tues, i end my class very early...so that i cn buy the ticket earlier....u noe wat, when i reach GV,, theres no one buying tickets...lucky....haha...it's a exciting and a fantastic movie...i dun regret watching it....this time, the grp of student call themselves dumbledore army..wow...cn say...the dumbledore army goin for fight wif the dark lords....thast the last part...but the movie still continue wif another movie next yr....aiya..hope the next HP movie will b ard jan...haha...

k until here....

sign out...

sharir yazed...

2007-07-08T18:41:00.000+08:00

i can said that, all the photos below...is taken by Hp camera...haha....actually i gt camera at hm..bt the battery is very fast low battery...prefer using hp. scroll down to see all the photos that i take using my hp camera....

This are my secondary school classmates..the 4 Technical..

Thats me...wearing ite shirt..and my new hair style when entering ITE

we got nothing to do, play around at toysRus

Outing wif my bro

2007-07-07T19:56:00.000+08:00

last Monday, firdaus & myself went to Vivo city....we decided to watch transformers..but the ticket is fully book. so we decided to watch die hard 4.0. we watch at 6.30 pm show...wah so long..we need to wait at least 2 hours...haizzz..i decided to go out..take a fresh air...anyone want to Know, wat we do?....we sat near the water(sumthing liked swimming pool). from there, we try to talk...instead i was telling my problems to him, fir suddenly asked me,

why? i break up wif my ex? i was stund...

alrite, better Dun type tell too much.. (BoCor Rahsia) haha

the movie was exciting, lots of actions, i rated 8/10.....well firdaus rated 9... the show end around 8.30pm. damn....after that, fir said " his late"...so fir & myself ran to MRT station. i reach ard 10pm...suddenly my HP rings. its fir dad kol me and asking a few question. so i thought fir get scold by his father that he went home late. so i decided to kol him, but he reject my kols. if he get scold by his father..i felt guilty..coz im the one who ask him out. so the next parade, i asked him, "did u get scolded by ur father", he replied " NO, why?"......hehe....after that i dun feel guilty...anyway he dosent know that his father kol me....

so until here......

what goin to happen next?

2007-07-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

this yr is a bad year for me...i jus cnt take it...frens are alwaes the first in my life..sometime, we have a huge arguement, sometime they make me happy....this few days, im totally mad, angry, sad and kinda guilty...i felt, i cnt trust anyone, coz of one thing. i alwaes being nice to all my frens..but atlast they betray me...they talk behind my back...the other day, inside NPCC room..i was alone, sitting one corner, and all of them jus doing their jobs in the room....what i cn say..if u say im is your friend...
WHY?.....u need to talk behind my back...because of you, i dun trust my frens....
Hope u will find out, who is this person is...you Know who you are..
if you find out that im not talking to u anymore...dun ask why...im Not goin to accept your forgiveness...i jus hate to see your face...

a happy day..

2006-11-11T10:27:00.000+08:00

a gd morning to all of u..
a happy day..
im already feels great coz ytd i cried for the whole day..
and i felt that it was nt myself..
feels im a different person..
bt nvm..i forget about it...
to those, who offended or disturb me...i feel bad.
coz i take the jokes seriously...
i like jokes around..only that..that day i had no mood to hear..and my brain covered a lots of problems at home...

thats only i cn say..byebye...

bad feelings

2006-11-09T10:10:00.000+08:00

i feels stress...

my brain covered with a lots of problems..

i can't take it...

STOP saying things abt me...

i can't take the jokes that you peoples said...

its too much of jokes for me to hear...

no one cn know what im feeling rite now...

in the mean time..i will be quiet..

i need sumone to talk wif...

my secondary school life is ended...

2006-10-05T18:01:00.000+08:00

i'm excited to write about this topic. well my secondary school life is ended tmr. kinda sad and excited,

4 years in bedok town sec sch was a memorable. i still remember when i was sec1, i was nervous, a shy person which i dont talk to anyone. after a week, i finally make frens with my classmates and i was shocked, one of my tution fren is the same class and same school with me..(it's suriani) but we went seperate class when we are sec2.
for my cca, well i chose npcc..it's was my first choice..i was happy with it although its tiring and toturing. i kinda make frens with the seniors and my squadmates, and i remember i cried coz my leg was injured. although i cannot remember some of my squadmates names..i tried to talk to them. but i did not talk much.

when i was sec3..i had know everyone in the unit..their names, which class are they from, and their contact number of course. let me talk about npcc day 2005..hmmm..itS was exciting and memorable..it gave me to know my seniors and squadmates..well erny,hayati,sofian,firdaus,boon yong,wilson,xian yang...every friday we went to police academy, and i can figure out, what kind of person are they. in the mean i only can say about my sis(erny) and my bro(firdaus..so call my twin)they are the best sis n bro ever...erny a joker, weird, like to laugh alot...about firdaus, he is my twin brother. i always hang out wif him..a care & concern..towards me, give me advise but sometime his blood can go up(when his angry)..that part, i will run away from him(last time). but now when he get angry, trying to let him cool down...brave huh...sometime i try to think, why i cannot be like him, so brave..lots of gals want to be with him and outspoken..

i still remember SYf2006...i really miss syf..i and firdaus was in GOH, wear no.1..hehe, during the training, whenever he go somewhere, i always follow him...i dunnoe why..
now tmr is my last day in btss, i will miss my npcc frens, douglas,benedict,marcus,sebastian,khairul,boon yong and firdaus my beloved brother...
actually, im goin CIBTC in december2006..haha..im going to come back and serve the unit..haha..so i will be back..

well until here..

2006-09-23T12:15:00.000+08:00

im realy sensitive...this days...cnt be disturb by anyone...haizz..i was disturbed by sum of my frens..and classmates...bt i jus calm down and cool down myself...although it is worst, bt i tried to be petient.
sometimes, i cn be embarrass of myself being bullied..or threatened...
is the only way..they could know my feelings..being bulllied/disturb...and its hurts.

this are my feelingsss

2006-09-22T17:40:00.000+08:00

haizzz...evryday felt

..unhappiness..

..upset..

..deserted..

..loneliness..

haiz...

dun wan to feel this way...feel like crying...
is not the way for a guy to cry...but i hv to cry..and i dun wan to keep it..

My NDP06 frens

2006-08-29T16:26:00.000+08:00

My Ndp frens that i miss most...hope we meet each other soon...

my best frens

2006-08-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

It's the little things you know about me
The special times we share
the jokes we have that
could only have followed with an
I guess you'd have to have been there.
It's also the sad times made happy
Just because I know you care.

With you I know
A secret can be kept safe.
It will not be repeated with
cruel words spoken with disgrace.

We've had our troubles
The good times along with the bad
but most importantly you've always been
there to lend a helping hand.

Well in the end-
the point I'm trying to make is
that I'm lucky to have you as my bro
and you can never be replaced

i will miss my class

2006-04-23T17:04:00.000+08:00

Finally im sec4, and this yr taking N level..an important exams...
next week, mid yr exams start...damn...im nervous...no confident...but i had been doing my revision for the last 2months...haizzz...but not only exams coming...i also will graduate from btss..feels like ytd i was a sec1 student but now im graduating..:(..
i will miss my classmates, schoolmates,my teachers and my npcc frens...hmmm..especially my npcc frens, they are like my family to me...no matter wat..i will still keep in touch wif u guyz n came back to btss to visit my teachers

experience wif fire

2005-11-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

da lame tk post..otak tgh blank ar..hehe
yang sharir boleh tanya, sharir blum gi rumah kawan-kawan, macam tk ade mood nk raya..pasal last monday tu, playgroud kt void deck terbakar..abeh rumah sha bau asap and semua barang hitam..seram tau..tyme tu, sharir tgh tidur..kakak sha jerit suruh bangun..ape lagi, sharir kelam kabut bangun, pi tk kai baju hehe..
pi sharir masok umah alik coz nk kai baju dan nk amik handphone..(org slamatkn nyawa, dia slamat kn handphone)
pi tyme nk turon tk nampak ape2, semua gelap..coz asap tebal...pi sharir tk kesian kn umah sharir, sha lagi kesian kn makcik tingkat 2, umah dia terbakar dan hancur..famliy nye masok hospital, ini lah pertama kali sharir experienced dgn api yang besar..cerita nye panjang ar..so pendek kn..

gambar yang kt awah nie, gambar hari raya 1st and 2nd day..handsome?
hehe..klau yg rambut panjang tu, klau siape2 percaya tu rambut sharir..tk tahu nk ckp ape...
ok lah sampai di sini lah...bye:)

selamat hari raya

2005-11-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

yay, 2 more days hari raya, i cant wait coz i can wear my new baju kurung, new shoes,new pants..and i can eat different kind of kuih-kuih raya, whoo!!
especially ketupat with curry or rendang.
this year my baju kurung will be purple colour..and samping is in blue colour.

well i wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN to all my muslim frens.
kalau sharir ade buat kesalahan, sharir minta maaf.

My New edited picture

2005-10-14T12:55:00.000+08:00

what did you thing of my edited picture, i use paint shop pro8.
I just download it yesterday at jasc.com .
the picture include last year and now, and it takes me about 2 hours to make it.
it was easy and simple to use paint shop pro unless you have troublelling use it.
actually the picture is bigger but i make it small,
I had a few of edited picture, you can go to my multiply or friendster to look more of my edited picture

WHy????

2005-10-12T17:38:00.000+08:00

yay!! exam is over!! now i can enjoy and have fun, playing computer games.

why? she did not accept me as her boyfriend..
oh dear atikah..i try my best to change myself that you dislike abt me,
but you still rejected me,:( what you want from me or what did you dislike abt me.
you said, we can only be friends, but not more then that.
if you said that, why you are running from me?
oh my dearest atikah, no matter how much you running from me or rejected me,
i will always love you..

My favourite song

2005-10-10T12:07:00.000+08:00

green day and their song, wake me up when september ends...
and this is my favourite song..i wish i have their cd to listen at my CD player..

Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.

Like my fathers come to pass,
Seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.

Exams

2005-10-01T02:58:00.000+08:00

finally final year examination already started..i'm so scared. yesterday 30 september 05, my first paper was english paper1 and 2..Huh.
paper2 was easy than paper1, but some of the question, i dun understand..
like close passage..
but no matter how hard it is, i'm still need to answer the question...and i confident that my english surely pass.

My New Blog

2005-09-26T15:47:00.000+08:00

Yo wassup!!..i can't believe, i sign up a new blog at blogspot, i use to have a blog at multiply.com...but now i want to try out blog spot, hmmm

pls do CheCk OuT mY PhoTos At

boydevil90.multiply.com